im pretty ticked off. i mean, here i am, trying to make crap work, and the shit just wont meet me half way. i keep telling myself that when stuffs posed to happen, it will. will anybody else get that? no. they keep puching and then i try to be nice about it and they get an attitude. with tasha?! oh hellz no (thanks libbs for turning me on to that phrase, i love that saying) i dont have to deal with it. im my own person, and im trying to better whoever the hell that girl is. i cant do that by holding on to dumb stuff. letting ppl hurt me, and play me. so i dont wanna go along with the dumb shit? my "friends" should be happy, supportive, not going off on me in a hormonal fit of rage. **sigh**
i wish i didnt do this. i wish i didnt let ppl bother me so much. i wish love would just come.

look at this convo: (mind u we're talking about the 1st guy i was pretty much ever in love w/)

pinksheeps01: u talkin to me?
K: yea
K: imtalkin 2 u
pinksheeps01 lol well, what r u trying to say?
K: duno u asked so i told
pinksheeps01 told what?
pinksheeps01oh
pinksheeps01 got it
pinksheeps01well, a lil wondow popped up on my end
pinksheeps01 it said u were trying to share pics or something
pinksheeps01so i went with it
pinksheeps01 :figured u were having a hard time
K: yea i accedentlly hit that butten
K: sry
pinksheeps01:thats ok
pinksheeps01 :did u get my offlines?
K: yea
pinksheeps01: r u mad?
K: no just he isnt avoiding u he just never gets online and u keep puttin ur self down.
pinksheeps01: i kno. but im tired of trying. the boy could call if he wanted to, but hes not doing that either. i just dont wanna wait around ne more kyle
K: ok whatevenr im done
K: ever
pinksheeps01:dont get an attitude. its not ur job to try. its mine and his. i told u that over the summer
pinksheeps01:hes busy and i kno that
pinksheeps01:im not saying that if he e mailed me tonight
pinksheeps01: i wouldnt talk to him
pinksheeps01: im just saying that im not gonna expect anything
pinksheeps01: theres no reason for me to expect something. hes busy. hes a senior. hes grown. im 17.busy, and tired.if it happens, it happens. and if it doesnt then when i see him. ill give him my e mail and we ll keep in touch. but im not gonna look for anything more than that from him right now cuz i kno he cant do it. hes already involved in a whole bunch of other stuff
K: ok all i said was IM DONE
pinksheeps01: yeah, with an attitude. c'mon, i kno u. i just thought ud care. u always wanted an explanation before. what makes now different? uve got an attitude? well, thats not fair.